What We Know:
Teen girls are more likely to feel distressed than teen boys
Challenging areas for teen girls: dating and sexuality, body image and eating disorders, self-esteem, achievement, anxiety and depression, peer relationships, self-harm, and suicidality
Feeling disconnected from society, family, peers, school, and community plays a significant factor in the development of these challenging areas.
Teen girls often disconnect from themselves - who they are and what they know - in order to fit in and find themselves in relation to their peers.
It's developmentally appropriate for teens to pull away from their parents and develop their identity in the context of their relationship with others
However, this becomes problematic when girls silence their voices or their knowledge of their opinions, feelings, and desires in order to stay connected to peer relationships - "do I remain true to myself and risk fitting in? Or do I lose myself and maintain my relationships?"
What We Can Do:
Research suggests that "a resonant relationship with a woman, meaning a relationship in which a girl can speak freely and hear her voice clearly resounded as a voice worth listening to and taking seriously - a voice that engages the heart and mind of another and calls forth response - was associated with psychological health and development" (Gilligan, 1990).
In other words, healthy connections to others equals psychological health!
Critically challenging society's messages to women is imperative, since culture largely contributes to the idea that girls must either be themselves OR be connected to peers.
Girls should learn that they can be themselves AND be connected to peers.
Important questions to consider - not just Who Am I? But... Who am I when I'm with my peers? Who am I when I'm with my family? With my friends? When I'm alone? etc...
How To Help Your Daughter:
Provide opportunities for healthy connections. Encourage your daughter to join groups that have positive female role models and provide a safe space for your daughter to be herself and be heard.
Encourage your daughter's sense of self. Find out what she likes and dislikes and who she is in different environments.
Encourage her opinions. You might not always like them, but encouraging them anyway will teach her that she has a voice, and that it matters.
It is never too early! Even if your daughter is not yet a teen, get these strategies in place before she starts pulling away and struggling.
*Explore girls groups for ages 5-18 as a way to help your daughter find and build healthy connections in a safe space to be herself.
Could your daughter benefit from positive and healthy connections?
Click the button below to contact Jessica directly to explore next best steps.